April 2010
there is never peace in the human heart.
a few days ago i wrote this huge thing about how i wish i could just feel nothing, i wished to feel nothing, to be knumb.
And now i’m laying here, curled up in a ball. And i feel so much that i feel nothing. & it’s the worst. I’m so empty. I wish i felt something.
i hate this feeling when you just feel a sick ache...
I just have to close my eyes and this feeling will...
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe.
this is one of the worst feelings in the world.
blah blah blah ahhh TVR8U4VCN8RMXI,MCUMIFX.
i really need somewhere i can go. somewhere i can go to write, say and do everything i want and no one can see it. i have so much to say, so many damn emotions but i can’t freaking put it on here because i dont want people to know, but i need to get it out of me because it’s driving me mad. my own head is just fucking me round and isnt helping me make sense of anything. im one of those...
i'm so happy.
ive just spent a night and day with some of the best people i know. some of the nicest, meanest funniest neat bunch of kids. ive been laughing literally non stop from 11am when i got in josh’s car. to 6pm when i got out. so to the real friends, the ones who stay around.. westney, olivia, davooo and angus. i love you. you’re the best
i want a cuddle.
20th April 2010
i’m so stupid. like what the hell is wrong with me. i could have you right now, instead of her. if i had of looked past the fear and looked you in the eyes that day, i would have had what i had wanted for so long. it was wondeful, it was magical. It was everything i’d waited for, a miracle.. and i let it slide. FUCK. i hadn’t thought about this day, or you in so long. untill...
